The Serve Grill: Shayne Hayne
 Shayne Hayne made a controversial State Of Origin debut, refusing to blow a penalty until the second half. Hayne has polarised players and fans for years. Here’s the answers to the big questions on The Serve
TS: Shayne Hayne, hello.
SH: Oy, you. Come over here
TS: I am here.
SH: Fine.
TS: What did you think of your origin debut?
SH: I was filthy in the end. I had Billy’s record low of three penalties from the 2003 grand final in sight. Bloody players cost me a slice of history. Other than that I thought it was fantastic.
TS: Really? Both coaches were extremely critical.
SH: Shows what they know. The referee is always right.
TS: Why weren’t there any penalties in the first fifty minutes?
SH: Because they didn’t do anything wrong. I’d have thought the coaches would have been happy. You just can’t please them.
TS: What about the suspected forward pass that led to the Maroons final try? I believe you said after the game that it was “Sideways backwards”. What does that mean?
SH: See, if I said ‘backwards’, you’d think I was blind. ‘Sideways backwards’ actually means nothing. It’s a contradiction. If it’s backwards, how can it possibly be sideways? Eh? But it sounds like a technical term involving some sort of biomechanical force that dragged the ball forward. Genius, huh? Billy taught me that.
TS: Yes, Bill Harrigan. People who know you have said you idolise him. Have you tried to hone your style on his?
SH: I’ve tried to hone my life on Bill. I perfected the chest-out strut years ago, but I didn’t want to stop there. I now dress like Bill, eat like Bill, talk like Bill, the lot. He’s the greatest, so why wouldn’t I model myself on him? Even in, um, quiet moments on my own, Bill is never far away from my mind. I tell you what, that 2000 Origin where he sends off Gordie…ooh…gets me every time.
TS: Doesn’t that make you a Harrigan clone?
SH: It certainly does not. Shayne Hayne has his own persona. Shayne Hayne has managed to become one of the games most despised officials on his own terms. I tell you what else Shayne Hayne doesn’t do. Shayne Hayne doesn’t talk in the third person.
Now are we nearly done? There’s a Lowes commercial scheduled to screen on Nine in their next ad break…
TS: Sure, before we go, isn’t your first name really Kevin? Do you like ‘Shayne’ because it rhymes with your surname?
SH: (points finger) Go. Get off. Leave now.
Interview may not have actually happened
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What a great game by Shayne Hayne to nearly pull off a great comeback victory for the Roosters vs the Warriors. Why do the Warriors have to put up with this shit every week? The sin binning was a shocker and it cost the Warriors a point.
What a game by Shayne Hayne nearly pulling off an amazing comeback victory against the Warriors on Sunday. Why cant the Warriors get a fair rub of the Green.