The Grill: Stuart MacGill
Stuart MacGill’s temper has once again made the headlines, after the Australian leg spinner was fined for abusing a Pakistan opponent while playing for Australia A. Does he have rage issues? The Serve finds out.
Stuart, do you have an anger problem?
No, I f**king do not.
Okay. So what exactly happened in Pakistan?
Basically this f**ing Paki batsman was stalling, giving me the s**its, and then it hit me -What is a 36 year old, with 198 test wickets, doing on a f**king A-Tour? I mean did John Emburey ever have play with a bunch of f**king kids? Did John f**king Bracewell?
Stuart, I understand your frustration, but we’re printing this word for word, can you calm it down?
This is me calm.
Oh. But if I may say, you’ve done a few A-Tours in your time…
Yes, but wine in Pakistan is banned. You can see my dilemma.
Look, it boils down to this. Instead of battling it out in front of a crowd of zero, I could have been sitting on Sydney Harbour with my wife and a bottle of red, taping those delightful links to that Channel Seven cooking show Saturday’s Kitchen, with all the segments imported from England and America.
Was that a popular show?
About as popular as an A-game in Faisalabad.
Have you ever sought any advice to try and keep your temper down?
Yes I have, on the guidance of Cricket Australia, I had an audience with the Dalai Lama a couple of seasons ago when he was in Sydney.
How did that go?
Not well.
What happened?
Mate, he’s telling me about kindness and self-confidence and spiritual enlightenment and self-fulfillment and all this airy fairy s**t. I’m there thinking ‘Lama boy, how many times have you bowled in front of 40,000 at the SCG with a test match on the line with VVS Laxman at the other end’?
How did the meeting end?
I got up, told him he was f**ked and he needed to put some on f**king clothes.
The other thirty people in the meeting looked a bit surprised, actually.
I know you had a personality clash with former coach John Buchanan. Describe your thoughts on him…
Here’s three words for you: F**kwit, d**k head, w**ker.
In saying that, sometimes I think our differences were blown out of proportion.
There was one memorable blow up, at a pre-season camp last year. What happened?
Well, here we were, a bunch of cricketers, doing this bull s**t commando course, when I twisted my knee.
As I’m writhing in agony, he’s just standing there watching. I said “This could be the end of my summer. How many f**king test wickets is that going to cost me, mate?”
How did he react?
He just hand up to his mouth, like he was really thinking, then said “Probably, not that many, Stu.”
He’s on my list.
Thank you, Stuart.
And this is me calm.
Interview may not have actually happened
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