The Grill: Shane Warne
Shane Warne is back in the spotlight after accusations of more text messaging shenanigans. The Serve seeks the answers off the man himself, using any means necessary before Warne heads back to Australia.
Hello Shane.
Hello (static) who’s (static) .who am I speaking to?
It’s The Serve.
I’m sorry, I can hardly hear you, but I only speak to Parky, mate.
Okay, um, it is Parky.
G’day Champ! Long time no see. What’s happening?
I was going to ask you the same thing, mate.
Oh God, I’m in the bloody headlines again.
I know, I know. So what happened?
Just a misunderstanding.
What do you mean?
Well, Simone thinks I was firing a text to some bird and accidentally sent it to her.
You mean you didn’t?
No, no. I was texting Simone. I was speaking with my kids, and they were telling me that there was a bit of a draft coming through, so I was trying to tell Simone that her back door was open, so she could close it and keep the place warm. I thought I was being nice. Being a good dad. That’s what I’m about Parky, being there for my kids, even if it’s from the other side of the world, despite the fact I’m loaded and don’t need to be playing county cricket to put food on the table.
It’s about the kids, mate.
Rightio, but you’ve got into trouble with text messages in the past…
Yep, all misunderstandings.
Misunderstandings? So, a couple of years ago, when it emerged you text English sales manager Kerrie Collimore with a string of racy messages, including “I want you standing out in the rain with nothing on,” that was a misunderstanding?
Absolutely. Look, we were really struggling in a match against Surrey the weather looked like intervening. We really needed the rain to save us, and I was having some fun with my friend Chris Adams, who plays for Surrey. Playing mind games was always my strong suit.
And you wanted him standing in the rain with nothing on?
Well, if he gets a cold then that helps us, doesn’t it? Look, the media seems to have this insatiable appetite with my personal life, so if they want to spin things to make me look bad, I can’t do much about it.
What about the British nurse. Didn’t you text her messages indicating you were naked on your bed?
See, another mix-up. I had rash on my inner thigh, and I thought she could diagnose me over the phone. I was actually doing her a favour. I’m sure it can be awkward for a nurse to have to look at a naked person, so I thought I’d just take the tension out of the situation and have her tell me which cream I could use.
Here I was trying to keep myself in the best of health, trying to be the best cricketer I can be, and the ACB takes the vice-captaincy off me.
I’m just plain unlucky, mate.
Going back to this most recent incident, you issued a press release, where you made it clear your relationship with Simone was over. Why then did you feel the need to go a step further and deny having another lover, when the evidence is pretty damning?
Remember when I said my mum gave me the diuretic?
Yes.
Well, um, she wrote the release for me.
Sounds a bit far fetched, Shane.
I must say you’re going hard, Parky. I prefer it when we pre arrange all the questions.
I’m hearing static again Shane, we might leave it there.
You got anything on in the next couple of weeks? I might need another special.
Interview may not have actually happened
| > | The Grill: Robert Allenby |
| > | The Grill: Elka Graham | > | The Grill: Peter Jackson |
| > | The Grill: Shane Warne | > | The Grill: Stuart MacGill |
| > | The Grill: Rupert McCall | > | The Grill: Andrew Demetriou |
| > | The Grill: Jana Rawlinson | > | The Grill: Rick Burton |
| > | The Grill: Vince Grella | > | The Grill: Peter Costello |
| > | The Grill: Shayne Hayne | > | The Grill: Aaron Baddeley |
| > | The Grill: Tony Roche | > | The Grill: Candice Falzon |
| > | The Grill: Michael O’Connor | > | The Grill: John Connolly |
| > | The Grill: Terry Wallace | > | The Grill: Malcolm Speed |
Subscribe to The Serve by Email
No comments yet.