The Grill: Rugby caller Rupert McCall
Rupert McCall is best known as a rugby poet, penning pieces such as ‘Green And Gold Malaria’. McCall has been plucked out of nowhere to be Channel Ten’s lead commentator at the Rugby World Cup. The Serve checks his credentials.
G’day Rupert.
Wonderful to be a guest on The Serve
It continues my upward curve.
Yeah, right. You’ve been given this prestigious gig by Channel Ten. How did it happen, and what’s your broadcasting background, apart from the poetry?
Essentially I’m an amateur-rugby playing father of four
Who has never called a single match before
I then got a call while I was busy with my writing
It was from a guy at Ten who promised something exciting
I asked ‘Why on earth are you calling me?’
He said ‘Because we clearly don’t care and know you’ll hardly charge a fee.
Listen, are you going to answer everything with a rhyme?
I must confess
The answer to that question is yes.
Oh, for goodness sakes. Your debut was the match against Japan on the weekend. Did you enjoy it?
It was terrific to see with my very eyes
An incessant amount of green and gold tries
The flogging gave me time to unload some of my nonsensical chat
With horrible rugby cliches such at ‘rat-a-tat-tat’.
Now that you’re a rugby expert, have you been doing lots of research?
Yes indeed. To be at the peak of my powers
I’ve put in hours and hours
Because its hard finding words that rhyme with Montpellier and Lyon
In fact, just to finish this sentence I have to say ‘I can’t wait for Paris with all its art and neon’.
What about actually researching the matches?
Oh please, it’s too far too late
If you wanted a proper commentator you’ll just have to wait.
Have you had much reaction after your first call in the big time?
Yes, I’ve received lots of e-mails
My favourite was straight to the point and lacking in detail:
It read:
Hi Rupert, It’s Gordon Bray
I just wanted to say
People claim your commentary sucked
I would go a step further and say it is absolutely f***ed¦.
Whoa, thank you, Rupert…
It’s been a pleasure
Talking to…um,
What rhymes with ‘pleasure’?
Interview may not have actually happened
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that is a classic, very good, its so true! the funniest thing, de describs everything as if you cant see. Send him back to radio