The Serve

Enough already of hit and giggle cricket

DAILY SERVE: Sun 18/2

Just about every year there seems to be a day reserved for some sort of testimonial one day match. A collection of former players, athletes from other sports and celebrities getting together for a hit and giggle match. It started with the Allan Border match in 1993 and was a smash. A sold out ‘Gabba watched the likes of Sterlo and Tim Horan facing up to Joel Garner, one hand covering their eyes, the other hand covering something else. Fatty Vautin’s outfield screamer became legend. It was such a novelty. So much so that other’s quickly tried to cash in. There was a Bradman match, famous for Zoe Goss’ dismissal of Brian Lara. Dean Jones had a game, where 30,000 Victorians showed up. David Boon followed suit. Ian Healy may have had one too. Can’t remember who, but someone hosted a match at Brisbane’s ANZ Stadium. The novelty wore off long ago.

Perhaps it has something to do with Australia’s current day dominance, or a lack of contemporary characters, but retro cricket has been billed as the new black. Highlights of World Series Cup matches occupy the innings break during domestic one day games on pay television. Those 80s matches are often more popular than the stuff it fills in for. A beer company spent an entire summer campaign to push its beach cricket series, filled with old timers. Another brewery offloaded 400,000 Boonie Dolls. This relentless pursuit ultimately had to wear thin.

Today, Shane Warne is hosting a 20/20 match, with the usual suspects on deck. There’ll be fat jokes. There’ll be the non-cricketers tripping over themselves. There’ll be commentators sledging batsmen through their earpiece. Nothing wrong with it. It’s just been done to death. The fans have cottoned on. Tickets to the AB match way back when were being scalped. At the MCG, a gold coin gets you in. A dollar. Warne merrily talked up a figure of 20,000. The joint is nearly empty. He deserves better.

We have too much cricket as it is. The nostalgic idea was a winner. Fourteen years ago. Let’s give it a rest.